crash

apparently i don't feel like blogging. and haven't for 10 days now. i think i'm in a crash. i haven't done anything creative lately. a bit of writing here and there as dictated by class, but otherwise, nada. i haven't made much use of my camera. i haven't made a book. i haven't connected with my hands, my art for awhile.

i'm sure i'll spool up soon to burn myself out again.

random thought: in one of my poems, I refer to daffodils as the color of jaundice, and a friend thought this was strange. i said i was going for an eerie/bitter feel and shrugged it off (i can call it jaundice if i want and to heck with you, i thought). then i wrote another poem about a long-dead cat of mine and daffodils worked there way in there, too. there is something about daffodils. they are an interesting part of me, my life, my set of metaphors and myths. they are my favorite flower. they make me happy because it means spring is (almost) here. but there's something mournful about them to me. i don't know what.

i'm going to write a poem. it probably won't be about daffodils.